Sometimes I Get Quiet

Yes, I’ve been quiet, too quiet. There’s this marketing philosophy that encourages the idea of positioning oneself as the expert in order to instill confidence in potential clients, it’s an unspoken “rule” that we shouldn’t be seen as a mess when we are, in fact, a...

How Mansplaining Did a Number on Me

I was going to write about something else but this stupid thing keeps doing the broken record routine in my head. (do people even know what a broken record is anymore?). I’m not clear in this moment what this has to do with recovery but I’m sure I’ll get there...

Thoughts on Gabor Mate’s Compassionate Inquiry

When I signed up for Compassionate Inquiry what I expected was to learn new skills for my practice from someone I deeply admire in a setting that was conducive to healing some of my own shit using his methods. I got what I came for. He dropped several conceptual bombs...

How I Blew Up My Life

Picture this. A woman in her early 40’s, good job with a pension and benefits, an active member on her union executive. She’s been married for over 15 years to a great guy who works hard. She has a nice 5 bedroom home in the suburbs, a working car, family holidays....

On Not Letting Go

Telling someone who is dealing with an emotionally charged issue to “Let it go” is not okay. I know in this day and age we’re supposed to be all enlightened and spiritual and shit but using this phrase as a response to someone else’s pain is absolute crap. When...

Deserving a Dry Home

I’ve spoken to more women than I can count on this subject, it comes up again and again. It’s not really all that surprising a situation…unless you actually think about it. For those of us pursuing recovery, the decision to quit drinking was a big deal. I had been...

Learning how to NO

One of things I used to struggle with was overcommitting myself. Saying I could make cupcakes for a bake-sale, volunteer at an event, work late, drive for a field trip…the list goes on. My philosophy was that I had to have a damn good reason for saying no to...